


Pull Me Under

by frameofreality



Category: Transformers - All Media Types, Transformers: Prime
Genre: Abandonment, Abuse, Ambiguous Relationships, Attempted Murder, Attraction, Black Romance, Character Study, Claiming, Dark, Denial of Feelings, Depression, Don't Like Don't Read, Dubious Consent, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Enemy Lovers, Feels, Heavy Angst, I Will Go Down With This Ship, Implied Relationships, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Implied/Referenced Sex, Inspired by Music, Jealousy, Long-Term Relationship(s), Loss, Love/Hate, M/M, Mental Coercion, Mental Instability, Mutual Pining, OTP Feels, Past Abuse, Past Relationship(s), Physical Abuse, Possessive Behavior, Psychological Trauma, Relationship(s), Sad, So Wrong It's Right, Song Lyrics, Songfic, Strained Relationships, War Trauma, What Have I Done, Why Did I Write This?, to them anyway
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-31
Updated: 2016-03-31
Packaged: 2018-05-30 10:14:06
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,212
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6419746
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/frameofreality/pseuds/frameofreality
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Theirs was a gradual descent into madness, so much so in fact that neither even noticed when it all began, never realized just how far they’d fallen. To look in a mirror, one may see the past, present and future. What, then, did these two see when they gazed through the looking glass? Was it a millennia of war and the death of Cybertron? Was it the souls of comrades and loved ones lost long ago, never to be seen again? </p>
<p>Or was it simply…each other?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Pull Me Under

**Author's Note:**

> You can all thank Five Finger Death Punch and their song 'Coming Down' for this piece of dark trash. And yes, the lyrics are arranged slightly different to fit better. I'm sorry. Except not really. This probably makes me a horrible person but I don't care, I love these two together, they're just so dynamic and interesting. -throws confetti- (ﾉ´ヮ´)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧ OTP OTP OTP 
> 
> Now if you'll excuse me, I'm off to deal with my feels. ;n;

_It's caving in around me_  
_What I thought was solid ground_

Once, long ago, Starscream had pledged his spark to Megatron and his rebellious cause, had accepted his offer of position and became his Second in Command. Not always had their optics gleamed with villainous intent – no, once, their ideals had been uncorrupted and true, and together they had vowed to usurp and change the functionist regime of Cybertron for the betterment of all. In the beginning, master and commander stood equal, side by side, and acted as rocks for each other during the difficult times. When Soundwave was unable to remain at his leader’s side due to a mission or some other item of importance unique to his skill set, Starscream was there to advise and listen, and likewise, so was Megatron. But that was before Orion Pax became Optimus Prime, before Starscream lost Skyfire, and later, his trine mates.

_I tried to look the other way_  
_But I couldn't turn around_

The attraction had been mutual from the start, put on hold only due to Megatron’s – known then as Megatronus – infatuation with a certain young archivist who timidly welcomed his advances, and Starscream’s fledgling relationship with his partner Skyfire. The two were ultimately lost for different reasons, and Megatron and Starscream’s relationship fell into place soon after. With the subsequent war and destruction of Starscream’s home city, Vos, and of their entire planet soon after, a malignant seed was planted in their sparks, left to fester and darken as time moved ever onwards.

_It's okay for you to hate me_  
_For all the things I've done_

What was once so new and perfect slowly became harder and harder to maintain under the stress of near constant warfare. Gentle, supportive words changed to stinging barbs of insult and mockery, affectionate smiles turned to derisive sneers. Threats and violence amongst them became commonplace, natural, the Seeker and warlord intent on keeping one another on their guard. Lovers eventually became enemies and, strangely enough, grew into enemy lovers. 

_I’ve made a few mistakes_  
_But I’m not the only one_

Theirs was a gradual descent into madness, so much so in fact that neither ever noticed when it all began, never realized just how far they’d fallen.  
Would they have changed it if they had? Or would they do it all the same?

_Was there ever any question_  
_On how much I could take?_

Pace for pace, they matched each other, every physical blow and trip to the medbay exchanged for false promises and murderous schemes. Starscream returned from the brink of death more times than anyone, Megatron seeming unable to finish him off and Starscream unable to do the same, regardless of how many plans he conjured up against his leader.

_You kept feeding me your bullshit_  
_Hoping I would break_

They were both broken, they knew that. Who wouldn’t be in their situation? Somewhere, in the far reaches of their minds, they knew and understood but refused to acknowledge it. If they didn’t have each other, both secretly hated to think, they were all alone. At least together, no matter how dark and depraved they may become, they weren’t trapped in the solitude of their fall from grace.

_You pull me under_  
_To save yourself_

Their coupling was always fierce, brutal, desperate – rarely ever were their touches gentle, affectionate, loving. Sometimes, they imagined each other differently or as they used to be, but that never managed to last long. Starscream’s claws were much too sharp to ever be mistaken as those of Orion Pax’s blunt digits, and Megatron’s claiming of the Seeker was much too harsh to mirror that of Skyfire, or even his trine mates, Skywarp and Thundercracker.

_I pull you under_  
_Just to save myself_

Lovemaking wasn’t the intent so much as wrathful fragging. By the time the fantasy inevitably faded, they would clash again, more savage this time, hissing and growling, hard and fast. _Why can’t you be someone else? Why can’t you be like you used to?_ Megatron could never be Skyfire and Starscream could never be Orion.

_I could never be_  
_What you want me to_

In the end, they eventually would fall apart, frames horribly overworked with pain-laced bliss searing away any and all coherency of thought. Sometimes, Megatron forgot to throw him out after, forgot just how dangerous this dance of theirs was and how easily one of them could end the other in but a moment of weakness. Recharge was the perfect opportunity.

_You pull me under_  
_I pull you under_

Despite the looming threat of his treacherous Second at his side, Megatron almost always fell asleep first, and it always drew a sneer of disgust from the Seeker. _Weak._ During these rare moments, Starscream contemplated tearing out the old mech’s spark, holding it aloft as his most prized trophy, to crush it between his claws. How many times had he threatened to do so, after all? It would be easy…wouldn’t it? Hesitation grew close to him then, and he found his optics roving over Megatron’s peacefully recharging form, stopping once they came upon his scarred faceplate. He felt himself move closer, pressing into that familiar warmth his master offered despite himself. All you have left. A seething hiss beneath his intake, and if his lord woke up with a few more scratches than he remembered receiving during their tryst, he never seemed the wiser.

He loved him. By Primus, he still did, despite it all – but he would never say it. Unicron take him first.

_You will never see_  
_What's inside of me_

Usually when Megatron came back online, Starscream had long gone, his side of the berth now cold and empty, leaving the warlord horribly alone again. Sometimes, though, his Second forgot to set his internal alarm, to wake before his lord did. It was during these moments Megatron felt the most conflicted, having him so near and yet so far, watching his Second’s wings twitch in his dreamless slumber. He wanted to pull him close, tell him how sorry he was for what he’d become – but what use were apologies now? He wanted to tear open the Seeker’s chest, to finally and forever claim that elusive spark he so longed for, watch as the light dimmed and faded from his insufferable, beautiful ruby orbs.

He loved him. By Primus, he still did, despite everything – but he would never say it. Unicron take him first.

_You will never see_  
_What's inside of me_

In the end, perhaps they were in the Pit all along, with only each other for some twisted yet necessary semblance of company. Whatever it was, polarity had shifted to keep them colliding together, greedy and beyond want to ever truly be without. I hate you. I need you. I love you.

To look in a mirror, one may see the past, present and future. What, then, did these two see when they gazed through the looking glass? Was it millennia of war and the death of Cybertron? Was it the souls of comrades and loved ones lost long ago, never to be seen again? 

Or was it simply…each other?

_Stay here, with me, in our own personal hell._

_Step away from the ledge_   
_I'm coming down_

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading and I'll see you all in hell <3


End file.
